10 Powerful Ways to Develop Godly Character in Yourself and Your Children
10 Powerful Ways to Develop Godly Character in Yourself and Your Children
Building Lives That Reflect Christ's Image in Every Generation
Key Verse: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." — Proverbs 22:6
What kind of person are you becoming? What kind of people are your children becoming? These questions matter infinitely more than questions about career success, educational achievement, or social status. Because character—the collection of values, virtues, and principles defining who we are at the core—determines the quality of our lives, the health of our relationships, and ultimately our eternal destiny. In a culture increasingly valuing superficial appearance over authentic substance, developing godly character in ourselves and our children represents one of parenting's highest callings and life's most crucial pursuits.
Godly character isn't merely good behavior or moral performance. It's internal transformation reflecting Jesus Christ's nature—the fruit of the Spirit growing in our lives as we abide in Him (Galatians 5:22-23). It's being conformed to Christ's image through the Holy Spirit's work (Romans 8:29). This transformation doesn't happen automatically or instantly. It develops progressively through intentional spiritual disciplines, consistent obedience to God's Word, and persistent dependence on the Holy Spirit's power. It requires fighting against our sinful nature, resisting cultural pressures toward compromise, and choosing righteousness even when costly.
The stakes are particularly high in parenting. Your children won't necessarily become what you tell them to be; they'll become what they see you are. Children are remarkable imitators—they absorb values, attitudes, and behaviors primarily through observation, not instruction. If you model godly character, you provide the best education possible. If you model hypocrisy—professing Christian faith while living according to worldly values—you'll likely produce either rebels who reject your professed faith or hypocrites who replicate your inconsistency. As someone wisely observed: "Your children will follow your footsteps more than your advice."
But here's the encouraging truth: developing godly character in yourself and your children isn't impossible mission requiring superhuman effort. God provides everything needed: His Word gives clear instruction, His Spirit supplies necessary power, His grace covers inevitable failures, and His promises guarantee the outcome when we're faithful. As Peter wrote: "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (2 Peter 1:3). You have access to divine resources for the divine calling of developing godly character.
In this exploration, we'll examine ten powerful ways to develop godly character both in yourself and in your children. These aren't merely theoretical principles but practical strategies drawn from Scripture and validated through countless generations of faithful Christians who've raised godly children in ungodly cultures. Whether your children are young or already adults, whether you're satisfied with your own character development or aware of significant deficiencies, these principles provide biblical roadmap for becoming who God calls you to be and raising children who reflect Christ in their generation.
Understanding Godly Character
Before examining practical strategies for developing godly character, we must understand what it is. Many people confuse godly character with good behavior, moral conformity to cultural standards, or personality traits like friendliness or positivity. But biblical godly character runs much deeper—it's the internal transformation of our hearts, minds, and wills to reflect Jesus Christ's nature.
Paul described godly character as the fruit of the Spirit: "love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). Notice these are called "fruit," not "fruits"—they're unified package produced by the Spirit's presence, not individual qualities you can selectively develop. When the Holy Spirit fills and controls you, these characteristics naturally develop, replacing the sinful nature's works: "sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like" (Galatians 5:19-21).
Godly character also involves the virtues Peter lists: "make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love" (2 Peter 1:5-7). These qualities build progressively on foundation of faith, creating increasingly mature Christian character. Peter promises that possessing them "in increasing measure" prevents you from being "ineffective and unproductive" in knowing Christ (2 Peter 1:8).
Ultimately, godly character means conformity to Christ's image—becoming like Jesus in how you think, speak, act, and relate to God and others. This is God's explicit purpose for every believer: "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son" (Romans 8:29). Salvation isn't merely escaping hell and gaining heaven; it's transformation from self-centered sinner to Christlike saint, progressively increasing in righteousness, holiness, and love until we see Him face to face and are made perfectly like Him (1 John 3:2).
This transformation is both divine work and human responsibility. God supplies the power, but we must cooperate through obedience. Paul captured this tension: "Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose" (Philippians 2:12-13). We "work out" what God "works in." We can't manufacture godly character through self-effort, but we can't develop it through passive waiting either. We must actively pursue Christ, consistently obey His Word, continually depend on His Spirit, and persistently resist sin—trusting that God's grace makes our feeble efforts effective for genuine transformation.
1. Build a Strong Foundation of Faith Through God's Word
Godly character cannot be built on weak spiritual foundation. Just as physical building requires solid foundation to support structure above it, character development requires deep roots in God's Word and vital relationship with Jesus Christ. Without this foundation, character attempts will produce merely external morality rather than internal transformation—whitewashed tombs appearing good outwardly but remaining dead inside (Matthew 23:27).
The writer of Hebrews emphasizes faith's foundational necessity: "Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him" (Hebrews 11:6). Faith isn't merely intellectual assent to doctrinal truths but living trust in God's character, promises, and commands. It's believing God is who He says He is, will do what He promises, and knows what's best. This faith comes through hearing God's Word (Romans 10:17) and grows through consistent exposure to Scripture and obedient response to what it teaches.
Practically, building faith foundation means establishing daily Bible reading as non-negotiable priority. Not legalistic duty but joyful privilege—feeding your soul on spiritual bread essential for life. Start with sustainable rhythm: even 15 minutes daily reading Scripture prayerfully and reflectively builds stronger foundation than sporadic lengthy reading sessions. Use Bible reading plan providing structure. Memorize key verses storing God's Word in your heart (Psalm 119:11). Meditate on Scripture, pondering its meaning and implications for your life (Joshua 1:8).
For children, instill love for God's Word early. Read Bible stories regularly, making them engaging and applicable. Help children memorize Scripture through songs, games, and rewards. Discuss how biblical principles apply to situations they face. Most importantly, let them see you treasuring Scripture—they'll value what you value. Moses commanded: "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Saturate your home with God's Word, and watch faith take root in your children's hearts.
2. Practice Consistent Obedience to God's Commands
Godly character develops primarily through obedience. Knowledge of biblical principles alone doesn't transform character—obedient application does. James warns: "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (James 1:22). Hearers who don't obey are self-deceived, imagining their knowledge constitutes spiritual maturity. But authentic Christianity produces doers—people whose lives increasingly align with God's revealed will.
Jesus emphasized obedience's centrality: "Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me" (John 14:21). Love isn't measured by emotional feelings or verbal professions but by obedient action. If you claim to love God while consistently disobeying His clear commands, you're deceiving yourself. Obedience demonstrates genuine love and authentic faith. It's also the pathway to experiencing God's blessings: "If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth" (Deuteronomy 28:1).
Obedience develops character by forming habits of righteousness. Each time you obey God despite conflicting desires, you strengthen godly character and weaken sinful patterns. You're training your will to submit to God's authority, your mind to think God's thoughts, your emotions to align with God's values. Over time, obedience becomes increasingly natural as the Holy Spirit transforms your desires themselves, making you want what God wants. As David wrote: "I desire to do your will, my God; your law is within my heart" (Psalm 40:8).
For your children, model obedience in everyday situations. When faced with ethical dilemma at work, demonstrate choosing integrity over advancement. When tempted to gossip, show restraint. When opportunity for revenge presents itself, exhibit forgiveness. Children learn far more from observing your choices than from hearing your lectures. Also teach children to obey you as practice for obeying God. When they obey promptly and cheerfully despite not understanding or agreeing with your instructions, they're developing muscles of submission to authority they'll need throughout life. Paul instructs: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1). Teach obedience, model obedience, and celebrate growth in obedience.
3. Model Godly Character Consistently for Your Children
Children are incredibly perceptive observers who absorb far more from what they see than what they hear. You can deliver eloquent lectures about integrity, kindness, and self-control, but if your life contradicts your words, your children will follow your example, not your instruction. Modeling godly character isn't optional aspect of Christian parenting—it's foundational. Your life is the curriculum; your behavior is the lesson plan.
Paul understood this principle, writing: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1). He could confidently invite imitation because his life reflected Christ's character. Can you say the same? Can you invite your children to imitate your speech patterns, your treatment of others, your response to difficulties, your priorities, your habits? If not, where does your life contradict Christ's example, and what must change?
Modeling godly character means living with integrity—aligning your private life with your public profession. It means controlling your temper when frustrated rather than exploding in anger. It means speaking kindly to your spouse rather than with sarcasm or contempt. It means admitting when you're wrong and apologizing sincerely. It means prioritizing church attendance and personal devotions, demonstrating that God comes first. It means treating service workers respectfully, honoring commitments, telling the truth even when inconvenient, and giving generously even when financially tight.
Modeling also means authenticity—acknowledging your struggles while demonstrating reliance on God's grace. You don't need to pretend you're perfect; children see through that facade. Instead, show them how Christians handle sin and failure: through confession, repentance, seeking forgiveness, and trusting God's grace. When you lose your temper, don't justify it—apologize to those affected and ask God's forgiveness in your children's hearing. When you face difficult circumstances, verbalize your trust in God's sovereignty and goodness even when you don't understand His purposes. Model dependence on God through prayer, gratitude through thanksgiving, and joy through worship despite challenges.
Remember that your children are watching everything: how you treat people service workers, what you watch on television, how you speak about church leaders, how you respond when someone cuts you off in traffic, whether you speed when you think no one's watching, what you do when you find extra change from a cashier's mistake. Every choice teaches. Every behavior models. Your life preaches more powerfully than your words. Make sure the sermon your life preaches aligns with the gospel you profess.
4. Correct and Discipline with Love, Not Anger
Godly character development requires correction and discipline—addressing sin, correcting errors, and establishing boundaries. Children won't develop self-control, respect for authority, or moral discernment without parental discipline. But how you discipline matters enormously. Discipline administered in anger produces fear, resentment, and rebellion. Discipline administered in love produces security, respect, and character. The goal isn't controlling behavior through fear but shaping character through training.
Proverbs emphasizes discipline's necessity: "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them" (Proverbs 13:24). Notice the motivation: love. You discipline not because you're angry at misbehavior but because you love your child too much to let destructive patterns continue. You're training them for success in life, teaching them that actions have consequences, developing self-control and respect for authority—skills essential for thriving in adulthood.
Paul instructs: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Exasperation results from harsh, inconsistent, or excessive discipline applied in anger. Training and instruction involve patient, consistent correction motivated by love and aimed at character development. This requires self-control on your part—waiting until you're calm before addressing misbehavior, explaining why the behavior was wrong, connecting consequences to the specific offense, and affirming your love even while administering discipline.
Effective discipline follows several principles: (1) Be consistent—don't ignore behavior one day and punish it the next; inconsistency produces confusion and insecurity, (2) Be proportionate—consequences should fit the offense; don't crush a child for minor mistakes, (3) Be clear—explain why the behavior was wrong and what you expect instead, (4) Be redemptive—after administering consequences, reassure your child of your love and God's forgiveness, (5) Be prayerful—ask God for wisdom in how to address each situation; cookie-cutter approaches don't work because children differ.
Also recognize that discipline isn't merely punishment for wrongdoing but training in righteousness. It includes instruction in God's ways, modeling godly character, creating environments conducive to spiritual growth, and providing opportunities for developing godly habits. The Hebrew word for "train" in Proverbs 22:6 means "to dedicate" or "to create a thirst"—you're creating in your children a thirst for God and dedication to His ways. This requires far more than punishing bad behavior; it requires actively cultivating good character through instruction, encouragement, and modeling.
5. Avoid Negative Influences That Corrupt Character
Godly character develops in environment conducive to spiritual growth and deteriorates in environment promoting worldly values. Paul warns: "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33). The people you spend time with, the media you consume, the values you're exposed to—all these influences either strengthen or undermine character development. Protecting yourself and your children from corrupting influences isn't legalism or isolation but wisdom.
Consider the influences currently shaping your character and your children's. What television shows do you watch? What music do you listen to? What websites do you visit? What social media do you consume? What friends do you spend time with? Each influence either draws you toward Christ or away from Him, strengthens godly character or erodes it, reinforces biblical values or contradicts them. You cannot consistently expose yourself to ungodly influences while expecting to develop godly character—your character will reflect what you consistently consume.
For children, the stakes are even higher. Their character is forming, their values are developing, their worldview is crystallizing. Exposing them to media promoting sexual immorality, violence, greed, disrespect for authority, or mockery of Christian faith plants seeds that will produce corresponding fruit. You wouldn't feed your children physical poison; why would you feed them spiritual poison through entertainment normalizing sin?
Practically, this means: (1) Monitor your children's media consumption—know what they're watching, listening to, and accessing online; use parental controls and have devices in common areas, not bedrooms, (2) Discuss media critically—teach children to evaluate messages against biblical truth rather than passively absorbing everything, (3) Limit exposure to harmful influences—you don't need to completely isolate children from secular culture, but you should limit what they consume and provide context when they encounter ungodly messages, (4) Prioritize positive influences—fill home with Christian music, read Christian books, watch wholesome entertainment, spend time with godly families whose values align with yours, (5) Model discernment yourself—your children are watching what you watch and listening to what you listen to; demonstrate that you carefully choose influences rather than consuming culture uncritically.
Remember Jesus' prayer: "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one" (John 17:15). You're not called to isolate your children from all secular influence but to protect them from influences that would destroy faith and corrupt character. This requires wisdom, discernment, and willingness to make countercultural choices prioritizing spiritual health over cultural acceptance. Your children may temporarily resent restrictions, but they'll eventually thank you for caring enough to protect their character development.
6. Cultivate Humility Through Service and Gratitude
Pride is perhaps the most fundamental sin—the root from which other sins grow. Lucifer fell through pride. Adam and Eve sinned through pride, desiring to be like God. Pride says: "I am sufficient; I don't need God or others; I deserve recognition, success, and respect." Humility—pride's opposite—recognizes dependence on God, values others above self, and serves without demanding recognition. Godly character requires cultivating humility in yourself and your children.
Jesus modeled perfect humility. Though He was God, "he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:7-8). The Creator served His creatures. The King washed His subjects' feet. The Righteous One died for the unrighteous. This stunning humility provides the pattern believers should follow.
Humility develops through service. When you serve others—particularly in ways that receive no recognition—you're combating pride and cultivating Christlike character. Volunteer at church in behind-the-scenes roles. Serve your family without expecting appreciation. Help neighbors, coworkers, or strangers without publicizing your generosity. Jesus taught: "When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret" (Matthew 6:3-4). Secret service develops authentic humility; public service can feed pride.
For children, create regular service opportunities. Involve them in serving at church—helping in nursery, greeting visitors, cleaning facilities. Encourage them to serve siblings without expecting reciprocation. Involve them in serving community—participating in food drives, visiting elderly neighbors, doing yard work for those unable. After service, discuss how it felt to help others, what they learned, and how Jesus served. Make service normal family rhythm rather than occasional special event.
Gratitude also cultivates humility by acknowledging that everything you have is gift, not achievement. Pride says: "I earned this through my effort." Gratitude says: "God provided this through His grace." Develop gratitude habit personally: maintain gratitude journal, begin each day thanking God for specific blessings, verbalize appreciation to people who've helped you. For children, establish family rhythm of expressing gratitude: share what you're thankful for at dinner, write thank-you notes for gifts received, thank God together before meals and bedtime. Gratitude shifts focus from what you lack to what you've received, from self-centeredness to God-centeredness, from pride to humility.
7. Develop Resilience Through Trials and Challenges
Godly character isn't developed in comfort and ease but through trials and challenges that test faith, strengthen perseverance, and produce maturity. James writes: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). Trials aren't obstacles to character development but instruments for it.
Modern parenting culture often seeks to shield children from all difficulty, removing obstacles, solving problems for them, and ensuring they never experience failure or disappointment. But this "helicopter parenting" actually hinders character development. Children who never face challenges don't develop resilience. Children whose parents solve all problems don't learn problem-solving. Children who never experience consequences don't develop responsibility. Overprotection produces fragile adults who collapse under pressure rather than resilient adults who persevere through difficulty.
Biblical parenting allows children to face age-appropriate challenges and supports them through difficulties without removing all hardship. When your child faces conflict with a friend, don't immediately intervene—coach them in resolving it themselves. When they're struggling with schoolwork, don't do their homework—help them develop study skills and perseverance. When they face disappointment—not making the team, not getting invited to the party—don't minimize it or distract them from it; help them process emotions, find perspective, and trust God's sovereignty.
For yourself, recognize that trials you're facing aren't meaningless suffering but purposeful training. Financial pressure teaches dependence on God's provision. Relational conflict develops patience and forgiveness. Health challenges produce empathy and shift priorities. Ministry opposition strengthens faith and clarifies calling. God wastes nothing—every difficulty He allows or ordains serves His purpose of conforming you to Christ's image. As Peter wrote: "These [trials] have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7).
Teach your children to view challenges through this lens. When they face difficulty, help them ask: "What is God teaching me through this? How can this make me more like Jesus? What character quality is God developing?" This transforms trials from meaningless obstacles to purposeful instruments for growth. Also model perseverance in your own trials—let your children see you trusting God when circumstances are hard, remaining faithful when results are delayed, and praising God even through tears. Your resilience in trials teaches more powerfully than any lecture about perseverance.
8. Commit to Daily Prayer and Worship
Godly character cannot be developed apart from vital relationship with God maintained through consistent prayer and worship. Prayer isn't merely religious duty or emergency hotline for crises—it's communication with God that sustains spiritual life, just as breathing sustains physical life. Worship isn't merely Sunday morning activity but lifestyle of honoring God through thoughts, words, actions, and affections oriented toward His glory. Together, prayer and worship keep you connected to the divine power source enabling character transformation.
Jesus modeled priority of prayer despite incredibly demanding ministry schedule. He regularly withdrew to solitary places to pray (Luke 5:16). He prayed before major decisions (Luke 6:12-13). He prayed during crises (Luke 22:39-44). He prayed for others (John 17). If the sinless Son of God needed prayer to maintain communion with the Father, how much more do sinful humans need prayer to maintain spiritual vitality? Yet prayer is often first thing neglected when life gets busy—the very time you need it most.
Establish non-negotiable daily prayer time. Early morning often works best before day's demands crowd it out. Begin with thanksgiving, acknowledging God's character and blessings. Confess sins specifically, receiving His forgiveness. Present requests for yourself and others. Listen in silence for God's voice through His Spirit. Pray Scripture, using God's Word to shape your prayers. Don't make prayer complicated or lengthy—start with 10-15 minutes daily and let it grow naturally. Consistency matters more than duration; brief daily prayer develops your relationship with God more than occasional lengthy sessions.
For children, pray with them daily. Bedtime prayers are natural opportunity, but also pray spontaneously throughout the day—before meals, when facing challenges, when celebrating blessings, when someone shares a need. Let children hear you pray authentically, expressing real emotions and real faith. Teach them to pray by praying with them, gradually encouraging them to pray aloud themselves. Make prayer normal conversation with God rather than formal religious ritual.
Worship extends beyond Sunday morning to daily life lived for God's glory. Paul instructs: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31). Every activity becomes worship when done to honor God—work performed excellently as service to Him, relationships maintained with integrity reflecting His character, challenges faced with trust displaying His faithfulness. Also cultivate worship through music, singing hymns and worship songs privately and as family. Read Scripture devotionally, not merely for information but for transformation. Express gratitude regularly. Observe Sabbath rest, setting aside time to focus on God. These worship rhythms keep your heart oriented toward God and your character increasingly conformed to His image.
9. Teach and Encourage Personal Responsibility
Godly character includes personal responsibility—owning your choices, accepting consequences, fulfilling commitments, and resisting victim mentality that blames others for your failures. Our culture increasingly promotes avoiding responsibility: blaming circumstances, parents, systems, or others for personal failures rather than accepting ownership. But Scripture consistently emphasizes personal accountability: "Each of us will give an account of ourselves to God" (Romans 14:12). You cannot control everything that happens to you, but you are responsible for how you respond.
Teaching responsibility begins early. Give young children age-appropriate tasks—picking up toys, feeding pets, setting the table. As they mature, increase responsibilities—household chores, homework management, part-time jobs. Allow them to experience natural consequences when they fail to fulfill responsibilities. If they don't complete homework, don't rescue them from poor grades—let them experience consequences motivating greater diligence. If they mismanage allowance, don't bail them out—let them learn financial discipline through mistakes made with small amounts.
Also teach responsibility in relationships. When your child hurts someone, require genuine apology and restitution where possible. When they make commitments, hold them accountable to follow through even when inconvenient. When they create messes—literal or figurative—require them to clean up. This training develops character qualities essential for adult success: reliability, integrity, work ethic, and emotional maturity.
Model responsibility yourself. Admit your mistakes rather than making excuses. Apologize sincerely when you've wronged someone. Follow through on commitments even when costly. Accept consequences for your choices without complaining. Children learn responsibility primarily through observing whether you model it. If you consistently blame others, make excuses, or avoid consequences, your children will replicate that irresponsibility regardless of what you teach verbally.
Also distinguish between responsibility and perfectionism. Responsibility means doing your best and owning outcomes; perfectionism means being crushed by any failure. Teach children that mistakes are learning opportunities, not catastrophes. Model grace when they fail, helping them identify what went wrong and how to improve while affirming your unconditional love. Balance holding them accountable with extending grace—just as God does with us. The goal is producing responsible adults who own their choices while trusting God's grace to cover their inevitable failures.
10. Reflect Christ in Every Area of Daily Life
Ultimately, godly character means consistently reflecting Jesus Christ in every area of life—not merely during religious activities but in ordinary daily experiences. Your speech should sound like Jesus'. Your treatment of others should mirror Jesus'. Your priorities should align with Jesus'. Your responses to difficulties should resemble Jesus'. This comprehensive Christlikeness is what God is working to accomplish in every believer: "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son" (Romans 8:29).
Jesus instructed: "You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16). Your life should visibly reflect Christ's character so clearly that observers recognize something different about you—and that difference points them to God.
Practically, this means applying Christ's character to specific situations: (1) In speech—speak truth in love, avoid gossip and slander, use words to encourage and build up, control your tongue even when angry, (2) In relationships—love sacrificially, forgive freely, serve humbly, maintain integrity, prioritize reconciliation, (3) In work—perform excellently as service to God, maintain integrity even when no one's watching, treat coworkers respectfully regardless of their status, (4) In finances—give generously, live within your means, avoid debt, trust God's provision, use resources for kingdom purposes, (5) In entertainment—choose media that honors God, avoid entertainment promoting values contradicting Scripture, use leisure in ways refreshing rather than enslaving.
For your children, point out specific ways they can reflect Christ in their environments. At school: be kind to unpopular kids, refuse to participate in gossip, stand up for those being bullied, maintain integrity in academics. In sports: play your best, be gracious in victory and defeat, encourage teammates, respect coaches and referees. With siblings: serve without expecting reciprocation, forgive quickly, share generously, resolve conflicts respectfully. In neighborhood: be friendly to all neighbors regardless of differences, offer to help with tasks, invite others to church activities, represent Christ well.
Remember that you're writing gospel message through your life that some people will read more carefully than they ever read Scripture. Make sure your life's message accurately reflects Jesus Christ. When people observe you—coworkers, neighbors, extended family, your children—do they see Jesus? When they interact with your children, do they encounter young people marked by kindness, integrity, respect, and joy? If not, where must you and your family grow to better reflect Christ? Identify specific areas needing growth, confess them to God, seek His transforming power, and begin taking concrete steps toward Christlikeness. This is lifelong process, but every step toward greater Christlikeness honors God and blesses you and your children.
A Testimony: Character Transformed Through Faithfulness
Michael Chen grew up in non-Christian home where character was defined by success: good grades, athletic achievement, prestigious college admission, lucrative career. His parents weren't intentionally teaching poor values—they genuinely believed success was the path to happiness and provided the best gift they could give: pressure to achieve. Michael excelled academically and athletically, gaining admission to elite university where he studied finance and graduated with honors.
During college, Michael's roommate, Josh, was different. Not more intelligent or talented—but different in character. When others cheated on exams to maintain GPAs, Josh maintained integrity despite the cost. When classmates mocked others' appearances or intelligence, Josh defended them. When friends encouraged cutting ethical corners for career advancement, Josh refused. Most remarkably, Josh possessed genuine peace and joy despite facing challenges others found devastating—poor exam grades, romantic rejection, family health crises.
Michael asked Josh what made him different. Josh explained his Christian faith: "Everything you're seeing isn't me—it's Jesus working through me. I'm naturally selfish, proud, and anxious. But God is transforming my character to reflect Christ. That transformation changes how I think, speak, act, and handle difficulties." Michael was skeptical—he'd encountered religious people who were hypocritical or judgmental. But Josh's life demonstrated authentic transformation that intellectual arguments alone couldn't produce.
After graduation, Michael took high-paying finance job in New York. He achieved the success his parents valued: six-figure salary, luxury apartment, impressive title. But he felt empty. His work involved creating investment products maximizing company profits regardless of client impact—legal but ethically questionable. His relationships were transactional—networking for career benefit rather than genuine friendship. His leisure pursuits—expensive restaurants, exclusive clubs, casual sexual relationships—provided temporary pleasure but no lasting satisfaction.
At his lowest point, Michael called Josh, now working as engineer while volunteering extensively at church. Michael confessed: "You were right. Success doesn't bring happiness. I have everything I thought I wanted and feel emptier than ever. What do I do?" Josh invited Michael to visit and attend church with him. Michael agreed, desperate enough to try something radically different from his current trajectory.
The sermon that morning addressed the Sermon on the Mount, contrasting world's values with kingdom values. The world says: pursue wealth, status, pleasure, and power. Jesus says: blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, the persecuted (Matthew 5:3-10). The values Michael had been pursuing—the values his culture celebrates—were opposite of what Jesus called blessed. No wonder he felt empty; he'd been climbing the wrong ladder.
That afternoon, Josh explained the gospel to Michael: humanity's sin separates us from God and leads to emptiness, guilt, and death. But God loves us despite our sin and sent Jesus to die in our place and rise from the dead. When we trust Jesus as Savior, God forgives our sins and gives us new life—including transformed character reflecting Christ. Michael prayed that day, trusting Jesus as his Savior and surrendering his life to Him as Lord.
The transformation wasn't instantaneous, but it was real. Michael felt immediate peace knowing his sins were forgiven and his life had purpose beyond achievement. Over following months and years, his character progressively changed: his selfish ambition shifted to desiring God's glory, his pride yielded to humility, his anxiety gave way to trust, his greed was replaced by generosity, his lust transformed into self-control. These changes weren't self-generated willpower but the Holy Spirit producing His fruit in Michael's life as he abided in Christ.
Michael also left his ethically problematic finance job, taking significant pay cut to work for nonprofit organization serving underprivileged communities. He met and married a godly woman who shared his values and commitment to Christ. Together they began raising their children intentionally—not for worldly success but for godly character. They established rhythms of family devotions, Scripture memory, service opportunities, and modeling the faith they professed.
Fifteen years after his conversion, Michael leads his church's men's ministry and regularly mentors young professionals struggling with the same emptiness he once felt. He testifies: "I wasted my youth pursuing character defined by success and achievement. I accomplished everything my parents wanted for me but remained empty because I lacked what mattered most—godly character reflecting Christ. When I finally understood that God's purpose isn't making me successful but making me like Jesus, everything changed. Now I'm raising my children with different values: not pressuring them for achievement but training them in godly character. I want them to know from childhood what took me 30 years to discover—that nothing matters more than becoming like Christ. Success fades, achievements are forgotten, status evaporates. But godly character lasts for eternity and produces joy nothing else can match."
Practical Steps for Developing Godly Character
1. Conduct a Character Inventory
Honestly assess your current character against Scripture's standards. Where do you reflect Christ well? Where do significant deficiencies exist? Ask trusted Christian friends for candid feedback. Identify specific areas needing growth—perhaps anger control, financial stewardship, sexual purity, humility, or work ethic. Also assess your children's character development. Where are they growing? Where do they need focused attention? Write down observations as starting point for intentional growth.
2. Create a Family Discipleship Plan
Don't leave character development to chance. Create intentional plan including: (1) Daily family devotions—even 10 minutes reading Scripture and praying together, (2) Weekly Scripture memory—learn key verses as a family, (3) Regular service opportunities—serve at church or in community together, (4) Intentional conversations—discuss how biblical principles apply to situations your children face, (5) Deliberate modeling—identify character qualities you want to develop and create opportunities to demonstrate them. Write plan down and review quarterly to assess progress and adjust as needed.
3. Address Specific Character Deficiencies
Choose one or two character deficiencies to focus on intensively rather than attempting to address everything simultaneously. If anger is issue, memorize verses about self-control, identify triggers, develop strategies for responding differently, and invite accountability. If dishonesty is pattern, establish zero-tolerance policy for lying, emphasize integrity in all situations, and model truthfulness even when costly. If laziness characterizes your children, increase responsibilities, establish clear expectations, and allow natural consequences for failure to fulfill duties. Focused attention on specific areas produces faster growth than general attempts at comprehensive improvement.
4. Find Godly Community and Mentors
Character development happens best in community with other believers pursuing Christlikeness. Connect with church where Scripture is taught faithfully and genuine discipleship occurs. Join small group for authentic relationships, accountability, and encouragement. For yourself, find mentor further along in faith who models character you aspire to and can provide guidance. For your children, connect them with godly peers through church youth group and Christian friends whose families share your values. Surround yourself and your family with influences that strengthen rather than undermine character development.
5. Persevere Through the Process
Character development is lifelong process with setbacks, failures, and slow progress. Don't become discouraged when you or your children fail to maintain standards you're pursuing. Failure is part of the growth process—the key is responding with repentance, seeking forgiveness, learning from mistakes, and continuing forward rather than giving up. Trust God's promise: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6). God finishes what He starts. Cooperate with Him through obedience, depend on Him through prayer, and trust Him for the outcome. He's more committed to your transformation than you are.
The Legacy of Godly Character
Developing godly character in yourself and your children is perhaps the most important work you'll ever do. Everything else—career success, financial security, educational achievement, social status—fades in comparison. You may leave your children inheritance of money or property, but nothing compares to legacy of godly character that continues through generations. As Proverbs says: "The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them" (Proverbs 20:7).
Character isn't developed quickly or easily. It requires building strong faith foundation through God's Word, practicing consistent obedience to His commands, modeling Christlike character for your children, correcting and disciplining with love, avoiding negative influences that corrupt, cultivating humility through service and gratitude, developing resilience through trials, committing to daily prayer and worship, teaching and encouraging personal responsibility, and reflecting Christ in every area of daily life. These aren't merely good ideas but biblical imperatives for everyone serious about spiritual growth and godly parenting.
Don't wait for perfect circumstances or assume you need special qualifications. Start today with what you have where you are. Confess where you've failed. Commit to change. Seek God's power through His Spirit. Take one practical step—establish daily Bible reading, begin family devotions, address one character deficiency, find Christian community, model what you want to see. Each step forward, however small, moves you and your family toward the goal: becoming like Jesus Christ, whose character perfectly reflects the Father's glory.
"Gracious Father, forgive me for times I've prioritized temporary things over eternal character development. Transform my character to reflect Your Son Jesus Christ. Give me wisdom, patience, and consistency to train my children in godly character. Help me model what I want to see, correct with love, and trust Your Spirit to produce His fruit in our lives. Make my family a light shining Your glory to our generation. Through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Godly character is the most valuable legacy you can leave your children. Invest in it intentionally, develop it consistently, and trust God to produce fruit that remains for eternity.